A Dialogue With My Conscience

It is a dark and lonely night. My eyes are heavy, my feet tired. I want out. It is then I hear the familiar voice. "Get going," says my companion. I can't see it, but I know its voice like the back of my hand. It is the last thing I want to hear. I will rather call it a day and save my life for another day. I have an idea. If my companion cannot see, at least, I can. And it is my responsibility to let it know. So, I protest. "But there is a huge river ahead." Its reply carries an audacity that I have not seen all day, "Don't worry, there will be a boat for you when you get there." A boat! Where from? How? 

 

Still stunned, I hear another rumbling in my heart. "Get going," says my companion for the second time, in flagrant disregard to my protestations. This time, I throw nicety overboard.  "For heaven sake, can't you see the thick wilderness ahead? Can't you?." That should do it, I think, as I bask in the glory of my triumph over my persistent companion. Its reply scuttles my celebration. "Just get going, God will make a way." God! Where has He been all this while? I have had it up to here. I want out. It's over. I walk away shouting, thinking I can drown the gentle but authoritative voice.  In between the shouts, I can hear the rumbling again. And this time, in its most authoritative tone yet. Its still small voice pieces through my confusion. 

 

It speaks before I can even try to drown it. "Get going!" That makes me visibly angry. "Look!" I say - my face frozen, my lips tightening. "There is pitch darkness out there and I am not about to risk my life. It is dangerous." For the first time, my companion seems to have thrown in the towel. There is silence. But the silence is deafening, so deafening that I immediately prefer my companion's unwelcome intrusion. I smile for the first time, hoping my companion sees it and appreciates it as my olive branch. "I am sorry," I say with conviction, "it's just that it is too dark to navigate my way through." In a strange way, I feel its warm embrace. It is so soothing, I don't want it to stop. Then comes the voice again, so calm, so reassuring, so loving:"Not to worry, take a leap in the dark and the light will shine. Trust me." I know I have got to obey. With joy, I leap in the dark, the thick forest no longer a threat, the huge river ahead no longer a dread. Oh my God! I have been conversing with my conscience.

At A Crossroad

The journey has been long and wearied. Giving up seems natural, inevitable. Most people would agree that I have tried. I have endured pains and indignation. I have suffered more reverses than most humans. My legs are weak and unable to carry me further on the journey. I lie face down. I cannot dare to look up.  Now my hands are ready to be thrown up in surrender. For my options are limited. The future looks bleak. I am down and out. May be, not completely out.

I am at a crossroad. Which should I choose? Should I give up? That seems easy. Or, should I go on? Now, that is really tough. But wait a minute! Is the battle really between pain and no pain? Or, is it between what is easy and what is tough? I think, arrayed in battle are the forces of success and of failure. All along, I have always wanted to succeed at something. I have always desired to live my life to its fullest potentials. But now, I am confused.

Yet, I must decide what I want out of life. I must choose between success or failure. To choose success means to get up again and give it another shot, and another shot... How many more shots I cannot say. If I knew I would endure. But, to do otherwise is to accept failure. For a moment, I will get a respite from the wearied journey. But, thereafter, life begins to ebb out of me. I will live for nothing. Then, I can forget about writing my name on the sand of time. Oh, what a calamity that would be!

Then, my choice is made. I choose success; so, I must persevere. I must go on!

The Gift of Today

I am wiser by the day. Because each day comes with its distinctive trials and triumphs. Each day offers a full session of learning, so much that there is no room for electives. No room for carrying over of yesterday's courses. No room for covering tomorrow's courses today. Today is all I have, and its all I will work with. So, "tomorrow" should wait for its turn when it becomes "today" to get my attention. ‎And "yesterday" should know it has lost its chance to "today". "Yesterday" is no longer a pain, and "tomorrow" is no more a dread. I thank God for the beautiful gift called, "today".

I see no reason why humans should be so bothered about "tomorrow" that they lose the opportunities locked up in the bowels of "today". To be sure, "today" is the "tomorrow" you worried about "yesterday". And if care is not taken, it will soon become the "yesterday" you remember with regrets.

The best advise I have had concerning "today" in relation to "tomorrow"  is found in Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)

Just wondering how better life would be for all of us if we heeded this advise!